I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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