I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
