i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
