do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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