wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he shaved USA in his pubs
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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