I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
