I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize