This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
