being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
