so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
