Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
