When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
