Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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