she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
