I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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