try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize