I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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