Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
