That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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