I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
