Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
