So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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