Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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