my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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