stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
