I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
