I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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