Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you told grandpa to call you daddy
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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