Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
