Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
