Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
