I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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