so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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