i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
