It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
