My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
