I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
