She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
