Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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