I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
