Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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