I puked a lego.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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