I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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