I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
