so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
