He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
