Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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