My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
