i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
