So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
