update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I love you.
Bad choice
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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