No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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