She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
