I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
this hospital has no fireball
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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